Post 13: Oh the Deer

I wandered lonely as a cloud, lost amidst piles of thoughts about piles that effervesced around my mind like angry bees.

As I scuffled over hills I sought answers from the machinations of my mind, I sought justification for my work from a higher power.

Why was I trekking all over the World seeking out the darkest most secretive corners of the minds of animals? What good was my quest doing? Was the world really better off?

Was it a better place thanks to the knowledge that Megalomaniac Tortoises piled franchised lego-characters?

That sociopathic Crocodiles piled pirates?

That drunken but hospitable Penguins piled tiny fishies?

I was struggling to think of ways to make the answer "yes". How did my pile-hunt help either MANKIND or WILDLIFE?

Completely shadowed in self-doubt and depression about my superfluous pile-hunt, I perambulated despondently over hills...

I was being guided by a merciless meta-narrative, I knew my next pile would be a Despicapile. And this made me quiver with nerves. And maybe this was what stoke the flames of this crippling self doubt

I had got myself lost deep within the HILLS OF ENGLAND when I heard a far off bleatgrunt, and despite my general lack of enthusiasm I couldn't resist the pathological urges that guided my every step and I scampered off in the direction of the sound....

There, on a hill opposite me stood a resplendent Stag, his giant antlers erect like a two Peter Crouches dancing proudly against the horizon as he butted his way merrily around the hill...

And behind him, there, plainly for my eye to see...

WAS HIS DESPICAPILE!!!!

On spotting it I quickly ducked behind a bush! I couldn't believe it!

 I had found the Taleban!!!

This Deer, this majestic, swarthy beast, had the most controversial pile I had ever seen!

I rang the police.

Within moments police helicopters surrounded the hillside and the CIA  efficiently rounded up the Taleban and carted them off to some cosy gaol.

I received a stirling handshake from the head of operations and a Ten Pound Book Token!!!

But the best thing I received was a reaffirmation of my faith. Faith in my Pile-Hunt. 

By doing what came naturally to me: By hunting

ANIMALS

and their

PILES

I had uncovered the Taleban and therefore ended THE WAR ON TERROR!

Everyone had become friends again.

All thanks to me.

WARNING

A Doe is a Deer (a Female Deer) but Oh is not female and very very proud of his masculinity.