Post 5: Jimi the Hamster

I was now a much happier pile-hunter and I decided to exchange one extreme location for another and went on a quick visit to the Desert of Africa to spy ‘pon the notorious Hamster colonies that live deep amongst the dunes within the colourful shanty-burbs of slapdash Bedouin shacks.

Hamsters are not easy to see in the sand, as they are sand coloured and very small. However I enlisted the help of a local tribesman and it wasn’t long before I knew the tricks to finding a Hamster in the wild. This essentially involved shredding some paper and rustling it enticingly until one of them showed up to take it back to its Bedouin shack.

I have long believed the supposed fact that a Hamster stores all its shopping in a handy pouch behind the jowls is A MYTH. I was keen to back this theory up with EVIDENCE and report back to MANKIND my findings; I intended to prove that Hamsters use shopping bags just like the rest of us.

I knew my ground-breaking research into piles would be all I needed to gather this evidence and crack this conspiracy once and for all.

And I was not mistaken.

After 46 hours in the desert, alone with nothing but a twix for sustenance and my cunning disguise for clothing, I soon spotted Jimi the Hamster on a faraway dune.

Jimi was ambling along in that slightly homosexual way that Hamsters tend to amble, I was not surprised to note that he had his cheeks puffed out wide as he continued to perpetuate the lie. For any passers-by: it did indeed look as though his jowls were full of small insects, foliage and torn up bits of toilet roll…

But I knew better.

Aside his fluffy frame t’was a pile of Bags for Life, purchased for 5p or 10p or 15p or 25p or 50p from an array of Popular High-street Stores, Supermarkets and Hot Beverage outlets.

Despite his brazen deception I was impressed by Jimis’ Environmental consciousness. There are many animals whom have no interest in the Environment and continue to litter with non-bio-degradable materials. 

Jimi clearly loved NATURE, but his very existence was built around a lie, I was somewhat confused about how I felt about Jimi, but ultimately decided that a wrong and a right will balance itself out so I remained as thrillingly indifferent towards Hamsters as I had ever been.

Happy with another pile-hunt well done, I left the desert feeling both smug and special and went back home for a sandwich and a Yop.

WARNING

Bags for Life are a great way to look after WILDLIFE, but they can be a false economy. Be sure to use a bag for life ONLY when appropriate to your needs! You could not, for example, carry a Washing Machine home in a Bag for Life. It would just break and then you would have to buy another Bag for Life.

Jimi the Hamster and an array of bags for life. Drawn in the Desert of Africa